LANGUAGE OF LOVE [P5]

“There will be many problems that will torment you. It's a part of life. There is no way to escape from them. What's important is how you deal with them and find peace”

I tried to change her mind. She looked at me with a doubtful face and asked

“Do you love anyone?” she asked. I smiled and looked out the window.

“Yes, I do,” I said.

“There was someone in my life too. I went to Dubai when I was 13 after my mother’s death”

Her eyes filled with tears. I could feel her pain and the burden she carries in her heart.

“I was just lost after that incident because, you know...”

She couldn’t say anything and, I didn't ask her anything either. She was trying to control herself.

“Please don’t cry” I requested her.

“Yeah! Okay”

She said and tried to cover it all up with a smile. But her eyes couldn’t control the tears. They overflowed from those expressive eyes.

“My dad tried to give me everything, he tried so hard, but nothing could take away the void I felt after she died. He was so confused about how to handle a teenage girl and he did a second marriage for me, just for my sake. But I couldn’t accept that. I don’t feel like I will ever. It made me feel like I lost my dad too.”

“Who was that guy?” I already knew that he would be the one who cared for her during that situation and that might have made her fall for him.

She looked at me with an empty expression and said,

“I have received so many proposals in my life. But his approach and care were something special. I was just fifteen” She continued as I expected.

“I proposed to him and, he said yes. It kicked off as a good relationship. He understood me very well and was very supportive and all.”

“Then what happened?” I was not much interested in the story anymore as I already knew what the ending will be.

“He started imposing his thoughts on me. I wasn’t allowed to do anything on my own. He even forced me to always wear a hijab. The relationship wasn’t making me happy and it got worse day after day. I stopped talking to him as I felt like I lost that comfort”

“So you broke up with him?”

She looked at me, arching her eyebrows. It was clear that she don’t like being interrupted. I gave her a weak smile as that was the only thing I could do.

“I talked to him and, he said okay, he understood the problem and agreed that he will try to be a better partner. Just words. What happened was that I started changing myself for him and his care. All that was suffocating me, and I knew for sure that this isn’t how a relationship is supposed to be but still I stayed in that cage. I was aware that my dad is noticing the changes in me, but he never asked me anything.”

It is quite boring to watch a film that has a predictable storyline. But she was explaining everything, and I didn’t have the heart to say I already know what is going to happen.

“When my dad went for a business meeting, I planned to meet him because it had been two years since I saw him. And I hope you understand how hard it is for a girl to meet a boy let alone a boyfriend. I always visit my uncle's house on every vacation. So when I told my dad that I’m thinking about a surprise visit he agreed after a bit of hesitation as he was concerned about me traveling alone. I kept it a secret from my boyfriend also as I wanted to see his surprised face. When I landed I called him and said that I’m here to meet him. Clearly, he was surprised and said that he will meet me at Ernakulam south. His anxious face was worse than it was in my imagination and so I decided to spice up things a little more. I really wanted to hug him the moment he was within my sight but I restrained myself and told him that I left everything for him trying pretty hard not to laugh. I expected a much more anxious and caring face but his reaction lacked both. He was silent for a moment and then said

‘You clearly know that we are not good partners. You never understood me and you are not my type. I thought that you understood that this was a casual thing. Why didn't you tell me before leaving? I always wanted to tell you this wasn’t working but all those gifts that you got me made me…’

From his tone, it was evident that he was irritated and angry about the whole thing. It took me a while to let all that sink in and realize that he never loved me. There was a surge of anger inside me that made me want to slap him in the face. But I couldn't. I felt so weak for a moment. Somehow I pulled myself together and threw the balance money the cab driver handed me on his face saying 'It's over, you bastard' and walked away.

He stood there like a rock. He didn’t even call me back. He was using me and he never bothered…”

“Hei…Cool…Cool,” I said trying to calm her down.

“It’s fine…I’m ok… It's over for me now. I was throwing away the gift I bought for him and that’s when we met”

I just laughed. I shouldn’t have. She was looking at me with a ‘Seriously?’ expression on her face.

“Sorry, I lost it imagining what you would have felt when you saw me staring at you” I replied.

She smiled turning her face slightly to the other side and continued,

“I knew it was a toxic relationship but still I changed who I’m for his care and that’s my only regret now. I’m aware that it was and will be the biggest mistake in my life”

I was glad that she realized all that at least now.

“Be yourself. And don’t ever do anything that’s going to cost your smile. It's beautiful. It’s the most beautiful smile I have ever seen”. She looked at me with a puzzled face and laughed.

“Ok…Now your love story?”

that question made my heart beat faster.

“Yeah…” I didn’t expect that and my voice was breaking. I know for sure that I can’t talk about it with this ease.

continues....